Wisdom From DTHS Couples
Finding someone special to share your life and your faith with isn’t easy.
In June 2010 we launched DT Heart & Soul to help single disciples find a godly mate. Now, years later, we are able to gather wisdom from the people who’ve “been there, done that” – our DTHS Couples!
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. –Proverbs 19:20
We asked them:
What advice do you have for singles who are dating right now, especially those in a long distance relationship?
Tania S Ball:
Be free to reach out to each other. When I was single and active, I saw it as when I visited other Ministries. I would greet those I would encounter on my way without distinction – I did receive and send messages and I read many profiles. Be spontaneous! As we are looking for the will of God for our lives and on the site, we have the assurance that we are all brothers and sisters. I spent around 3 years active on the site, not very sure what would happen. I was able to build several friendships, brothers who are now also happily married, until God saw fit to join my love Nick Ball and I together. And it has been wonderful! Now we have been married for a little over 5 months by the abundant love and grace of God on us and our marriage. We need to keep the faith in our God always. Psalm 9:10
Eileen Hewitt:
“Not everyone is going to have a fairy tale ending…but you get to meet disciples from all over the world who are united by the Spirit of Christ”
I would say keep a pure heart. It is hard to do, but our primary motive should be to encourage and build one another up. Not everyone is going to have a fairy tale ending but it is super encouraging to meet brothers and sisters from all over the world who are united by the spirit of Christ. We are all in this journey together and as the word says, take heart: your brothers and sisters all over the world are also fighting the good fight to be faithful to the end. Love one another, Jesus said. Most times love (the marriage kind) will happen when you are least expecting it rather than pursuing it.
Reggie Guðmundsson:
“Try to enjoy each phase for itself…If you’re not content today, you won’t ever be.”
Be respectful and considerate. Aim to primarily to encourage. Don’t give more than what you can give without expecting anything back.
Try to enjoy each phase for itself. Being single has a lot of benefits. Getting to know new people & developing a crush on someone is exciting. Dating is fun and less pressure than being engaged. If you don’t learn to be content where you’re at, you won’t ever be content (Phil 4:11). Don’t be pining for having kids, that promotion etc. Marriage is not the endgame, it’s the beginning of something.
Robert Carpenter:
Trust God in all situations.
He will make it clear one way or another. Stay patient, and cherish the time you get in person. The distance is horrible but totally worth the wait if it’s the one for you. Always keep a clear communication line between the two of you in each stage of the relationship. When we were just getting to know each other I would restrict myself from talking everyday and saved those times we set aside. It helped a lot. My biggest advice is to communicate; it doesn’t mean throw out all your thoughts, but lots of relationships fail to start due to lack of it. Oh, and don’t be afraid to be be bold when God sets it on your heart. I never left America prior to meeting Chansitha, but God called me to meet her in person and that meant flying across the world while we were still just getting to know each other. I waited to ask her to date until I was in person and I knew God would make it clear whether I should or shouldn’t ask her to date. And now we are married.
So be patient, communicate, listen to God and cherish the time you get.
Gigi Ignacio Magaña:
- Always pray
- Plan your themed online date (ex. fruit date, game date, QT date, card-making date, worship/singing date etc.) – be creative!
- Enjoy having a steady date, be patient and wait for the Lord’s time to bless the relationship ♥️
JoLynn Darden:
- Skype, Zoom, FaceTime
- Text each other scriptures
- At the end of your phone date via #1, close in prayer together!
Aida Algarin:
As you get to know the person you are dating, find ways to build your “village” of support around you. Paul and I would take turns flying back andforth between Connecticut and North Carolina to see each other once a month. This took money and time investment but it was worth getting to see each other in our actual environments and to build relationships with other couples, too. I also got to know my future stepchildren this way and it helped me transition to my new home once we got married. If this scenario is not possible for you, then find creative ways to get to know the people in his life.
Beth Owen Keysear:
Fight for purity and get to know one another deeply. Enjoy the dating bliss but be realistic.
Immanuel Ndiwakalunga:
Read up on dating, e.g., this book: Dating in the Kingdom of God by Prince Dube.