Marvin Andrews and Shamra Kay Schmitz - Married October 2016
Shamra: I’d like to take you on a journey where God took my heart across the miles of numerous countries and oceans. I am almost 40 years old and the hope of romantic love entered my heart off and on over the years. After years of coaxing from my sister and brother-in-law, I ventured way out of my comfort zone and joined DT Heart & Soul in 2013.
Marvin and Shamra: The site matches people up based on personality test. I had the mindset for so long that meeting someone online was just not going to work for me. I had too many past hurts and I was convinced that not being in the same place as someone would be too risky. I wanted to see the true person day to day. However, I finally had the courage to say,“Ok, God, what do I have to lose?” I had a sister help me with my hair and makeup and another sister with some beautiful profile pictures for the site.
Shamra: Thanks to my sister’s generosity I was on the site. I received a few pages of compatible profiles to look at. I was overwhelmed. I decided to just send out messages and see who would reply. My second day on the site I messaged Marvin with a very basic greeting. To my surprise Marvin responded and sent a “get acquainted” request. Honestly, I panicked. I thought, “Whoa, I need to get to know him first as a friend.” I believe I declined his request for what I understood was the 2nd stage and turned the request to a “just friends” request. Even though I was on the site where people were saying they were ready to find the one to spend a lifetime with, I was tip-toeing and wanted to move slow. After a few other interactions on the site with others and Marvin my account closed. I sent messages to these individuals that I was on Facebook and we could stay in touch through that avenue. Marvin and I became Facebook friends. We had a few messages back and forth nothing evolved from those interactions.
God’s timing became evident as Marvin was put on my radar. I was brought to a point in October of 2014 where I paused and said to myself, “Wait, is this something?” I sent a casual birthday wish to him. The quick response and the words that he expressed of how encouraged he was, stopped me in my tracks. My typical robotic scrolling on Facebook was interrupted. I really couldn’t see how I could have made such a difference to his day. This intrigued me to see what was going on in his life. How had he been? Was he still living in Trinidad? And where in the world is Trinidad? We began a few interactions. He mentioned he’d be coming to the States that coming December to visit family.
I began talking about him in a subtle way to a few people. We began to have a few more written conversations during the month prior to his travels to New York. In December we were talking more and I wondered if investing more was a good idea. In a frank written message, I asked him, “Where is this going?” I was nervous about how he would respond. I was being super upfront and I wondered if I would scare him off. To my delight his response was super frank and even more upfront then mine. He expressed he didn’t think I would be interested in him. I was a bit beside myself to read that he was open to building and getting to know me.
Within a short time we set up our first time on Skype. This was a huge deal for me, as I had only used Skype twice before. My heart was pounding a mile a minute. I kept praying that God would ease my nerves and help me be giving and a good listener. As our time continued he asked a question which opened the door for me to be open and upfront about my life situation and issues. He asked me at that the end of that time if he could get some names of people in my life that he could reach out to. I was elated. We began to get in touch with people in each other lives. My spirit jumped with joy that he was open to build a relationship with my sister and her husband. I had called my sister after that first Skype and shared my anxiety that he may not want to continue to build.
Again, to my delight, his response and maturity to express his feelings and thoughts made me leap with joy. He was on point with making me feel secure and safe that he was investing only in me. We began to have weekly Skype times. It was always something to look forward to. He made my heart melt as he left me a voicemail singing “Count on Me” by Bruno Mars on my birthday. I loved how he could break out in song and just sing lyrics to about any song. He was my jukebox. My sister began making plans behind the scenes to get me to Trinidad to go meet him in person.
Me, a girl born in a town of 500 people in Culbertson, Montana was getting a passport and going to travel overseas to meet a man who I was building a friendship with. Wow, what an adventure! I never imagined traveling anywhere and now it was for a growing friendship that could have potential to move toward a dating relationship. Thanks to the financial blessing of my sister and brother-in-law I was on this path in real life. My heart was pounding so fast once I landed in Trinidad. After much prayer and lots of support I was going to meet a man who I had pretty much already fallen for. I saw him and he came over to me and gave me a nice big hug. I felt relieved and knew he was going to take care of me.
Two days later he took me on a double date and out on a patio overlooking the green jungle with hummingbirds flying around he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. I said “yes.” Ten days in Trinidad going on adventures and building new bonds with the disciples in the sister church and meeting his family left my heart filled with love and wonders of what our future would hold. I loved his openness, the way he gave and served others and God’s church. I loved how he was such good listener and mindful to my needs. There were so many things I knew I loved about him. Sharing this love openly was and has been so refreshing and a big part of our relationship.
The next big occasion yet to come was his trip the States in Dec 2015. His plan to come and stay a whole month in Spokane left me so happy. As the months passed by we had our daily phone calls and Skype times as much as possible. We had video double dates with other close friends as well.
To have Marvin in my space and in my world was a God send. The next few weeks we had so much more time to deal with each other in our good and not so good moods. We had double dates and activities for many picture memories. Then on Christmas Eve while my family were in the living room in person and on Skype, Marvin took my attention away as he read some cards to me and kneeled down, put a ring on my finger and asked me to marry him. Tears were brimming – was this really going on? Oh my goodness YES. I said “Yes.” The man who loved God, prayed with me almost every night and guided me in the ways of love was promising himself to me. I am in love. It’s the endearring terms he shares with me, the songs he sings to me, the words and looks he has that make me laugh, the hand I get to hold and the tenderness of him holding me when my tears fall. He is my love, my future forever life, my husband to be.
As we wait, we pray and we look forward to days where we can again be in the same place and space. We wait for the time we can say our wedding vows and gaze into each other’s eyes and have the blessings of God and witnesses to our union. We pray and ask for God’s help for his strength as we face the numerous obstacles ahead. We begin our journey with a fiancé visa petition and the process that follows to make it a reality that my beloved, my partner in the faith and for life can come marry and live here with me.
