Eddy Schuring and Stephanie Mack - Married December 2013
Eddy: I became a disciple in 1994, a few days before my ex-wife. It was an exciting time as we had just gotten married a month before. After 15 years of marriage, my ex wife went in a different direction, left God and we got divorced. Going through divorce for me was just near unbearable. It took a long time to heal and I did a lot of reading (“Changes that Heal” became my second Bible) and counseling with a few very important brothers in the church. My life was so messed up as a kid with partying, that I’ve always been a bit more process-oriented about how to grow and change.
I needed to change and wanted to as well. I needed to heal going forward in life. I want to be the best man that I can be and the best parent I can be for my kids. I took about two years to examine my life and following God’s direction on what needed changing. I thank God for the brothers who listened to me cry and mourn that pain.
After feeling like God had helped me come to a new balance in life and having that confirmed by the brothers in my life, I started wondering about dating again. Wow, I was 42 and dating again. A good friend of mine told me to look at the online dating thing. I looked on some other dating sites but was clueless that our church had one. When I talked with him again I realized he was talking about DT Heart & Soul. After looking at the site, I filled out the online application information. When I received the results I found that I benefited from the digging into my psychological, social and spiritual background via the survey. I learned quite a bit about myself through that.
The start of my DT Heart & Soul journey
As I started on my journey with DT Heart & Soul, I felt like if I was going to be looking into the lives of other sisters, then I needed a plan of action. I didn’t want to go through it haphazardly. I wanted to have a pure heart about what I was going to be doing. While I wasn’t so lonely that I was desperate, I knew that I was lonely for friendship. I decided upon this course of action: I would look at each sister’s picture once, and then read her profile at least three times before looking at any other photos. I wanted to be in tune with who they were and really know them, regardless of their outward beauty. I wanted to start to get to know them and think about how the Lord sees them.
I didn’t go into it thinking, “I’m going to get married.” I thought that I’d like to go on some dates, and that this would be a great way to get to know some of the brothers and sisters around the country. I messaged back and forth with several sisters, and even went on some dates around the country. I was really seeking a stellar relationship, someone who really loved God, and really loved me. Going to church in the other areas was a great benefit. It reminded me about the disciples in the Bible going from place to place and meeting with them in their homes, sharing everything they had.
After being on and off DT Heart & Soul for nine months, I saw Stephanie’s profile, but she was nine years younger than me, not that age is a deal breaker. The last thing I wanted is to get to heaven and have the Lord ask me what I was doing chasing my younger sisters. You know what I mean? But a few weeks later, I got an email from Stephanie! We began to start messaging back and forth.
Meeting Stephanie
Emails turned into phone calls, and I realized there was something different about her. I decided to fly down to Gainesville to visit her and get to know her better. The first time I went down there, I realized, “Wow, if this girl likes me, I’m in trouble. She is beautiful!” She was also smart, modest, and humble.
When visiting a sister in another city, I would find some single brothers or a family to stay with. This was great, because they got to know me as well as I got to know them. I was able to find out more about the sister through her other friends. I made some friends along the way. I was strengthened by their faith and inspired by their lives. When I went to see Stephanie in Gainesville, I stayed with a family in the church there, and got to know the elders, the church leaders, and all the people around her. They were really looking out for her; so much so that at the first midweek I attended with her, we split into men and women and I found myself surrounded by two elders, the evangelist, and three other brothers. In all there was about 200 years of Christianity amongst the six of them. The Lord was protecting his daughter Stephanie. I took honor in that; she’s well worth protecting.
We dated for over six months before getting engaged. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other. We talked quite a bit about our matching profile early on, noticing the things we seemed to match up with, and some differences. I really enjoyed that part of the process, seeing myself and seeing who I was. The compatibility profile was extremely helpful.
God gave me my best friend
We were engaged in June of 2012. We thought that we would get married fairly soon, but we had to wait for a year and a half due to some custody issues that arose with Stephanie’s ex-husband and their children. Although it was difficult waiting at times, the great thing is that there is now a sense of peace between everybody. I want to make sure Stephanie’s girls have the best relationship possible with their father. Stephanie and I have prayed with her two girls and their dad and new wife on a couple of occasions. I have had the honor of getting to know him and have gotten together with him for food and conversation a few times. It took longer to go through this process than I ever imagined, but looking through God’s eyes, I knew that patience would be needed for much longer than just the time of dating.
The Lord is good. We were married on December 7, 2013. From our previous marriages, I have three kids, and Stephanie has two girls. Growing up, I always wanted five kids. I didn’t know God would give it to me this way, but he did!
As difficult as it was, God orchestrated so much of it. We had a pure dating relationship from start to finish, and God has blessed that into our marriage. At our wedding ceremony, our purity was loud and clear in a great, great way. It is really important that we set a great example for our own kids. Two of the dearest brothers in the kingdom married us.
I really feel like God put Stephanie and me together. I didn’t contact her, even though I wanted to; she contacted me! God was honoring both of our hearts. I feel like both of us were loving God, and we were both looking to see if there was someone out there. By us staying close to God individually, he opened those doors. At times, we could have felt like God was closing those doors, but we stayed true to our faith, and he continued to light the path for us. We got a lot of direction from the couple who discipled us through our dating relationship. He was one of the brothers who married us.
I truly feel like God has given me my best friend. We can sit and talk forever. We really enjoy each other’s company. A day spent together is much better than our best days apart. We both feel that way. I feel totally blessed because I honestly did not believe that I could find someone that I would completely fall in love with.
Advice for members
When you’re dating long-distance, you need to be able to know each other. Both of us were hurt in our former marriages. We needed the time to make sure that she could count on me from now until the end. Taking that time really mattered. We really needed the opportunities to get to know each other, to talk, and to see the other person live.
Specific advice for brothers
Before you join DT Heart & Soul, you should know yourself. Do not take this lightly! You need to be a godly man, God will not honor otherwise. Upon knowing yourself…feel free to move about the country, or maybe the world!
