Corden Beyrer and Ellyn Hodge - Married August 2015
Ellyn was baptized in 1998 in campus ministry, spent five years in the singles ministry in Delaware and then moved to China for four years. Corden became a disciple in 2003 in Oregon and then moved home to Oklahoma to be with his family. They met on DT Heart & Soul in November 2013, while Ellyn was living in China.
Corden and Ellyn BeyrerEllyn: I loved living in China, and it was everything I had always wanted to do. I wasn’t planning on moving back [to the U.S.]. But I had a major turning point when I spent a week in the hospital and started learning that it was OK to ask for help. I started to feel like I was ready to get married.
I am really good friends with Aida Algarin (one of the first DTHS weddings), and she had been encouraging me to join. I had told her, “No, it’s not for me.” I was so insecure and I felt like, “What if no one likes me on there? What if nothing happens?” But while I was in China, some really great married sisters helped me in my security and in my purity. After a while, I felt like I was ready. I joined in November 2013 through a promo. I thought, “If nothing works, I’m only out $15!”
Corden: I was always praying for someone who was incredibly faithful to God. When I first started DTHS, I had no idea if it was going to work. I decided to pray and rely on God and give it all to God. I joined with the intention of really wanting to get to know people. I really liked all the questions the survey had. They were real, honest, asked about everything.
When I first joined, I realized that even if I didn’t get anything out of it, the profile was worth it. It brought up things in my character that I hadn’t really thought about. As a single, there are certain areas that don’t get developed as much all the time as being married. I started to look at those areas of my life in the process and started to pray through them. I liked that you could see where your issues might lie.
I looked at different profiles and saw that Ellyn and I had things in common. The more we started talking and getting to know each other, we started hitting it off. When I first met Ellyn, I wanted to get to know her as a friend. I had no intention that she was going to move back to the US. If she was going to stay in China, I was going to be fine with that.
I was praying for a wife for a long time, but I wanted someone who was more faithful to God than me, and someone I could lead to God. Ellyn is very loving and compassionate, very kind, very deep in the relationships she had, and I was drawn to all of those qualities.
Ellyn: I remember I was drawn to his profile, even though his profile picture was far away and I couldn’t see his face very well. I just knew he was tall! I really appreciated that he had traveled a lot, because I love to travel. He had led purity groups in the church, and I was really impressed that he put that on his profile. It’s a huge struggle for men and women, and it can be shameful, so this really struck me. He’s real, and I could tell this from his profile.
I was so surprised when he asked to talk to the phone. We finished the first call, and he said, “I really like this, can we do this again?” Our first conversation was two hours long. Every conversation was two hours. My best friend told me not to make any judgments until the fifth date. But then were a few months where we didn’t totally talk.
After a while, my best friend asked, “What happened to that other brother?” I told her, “He hurt me. I don’t know what happened to him, he fell off the face of the earth.” She said, “I need you to send him one more email. Be an adult about it, and just ask, ‘What’s going on?’”
So I did, and we had another date, and I realized I really liked him. It was our fifth date! I sent him a care package of seaweed, coffee, and a postcard via low budget mail from China. Praise be to God it made it in two weeks! We started talking more consistently, and in May, I got an email that said, “I’m not renewing my subscription on DTHS because I want to focus on getting to know you, Ellyn.”
This was only three days after a conversation with Aida. I told her about Corden and two other brothers from DTHS, and she advised me that when Cordon wanted to make it clear, he would be clear. Then three days later, he sent that message.
I moved back to the US in June, visited Oklahoma City, and we started dating September 21, 2014. He asked me to be his wife in April 2015, and we got married on August 29, 2015.
Corden and Ellyn weddingOn getting advice: Ellyn: We had a couple in CT that was our discipling couple while we were dating. Corden was great at calling and reaching out. When I visited Oklahoma, I would stay with one of the married couples, and when we had our struggles, I was very honest about what was going on. I knew that I needed to pray with people, and that I needed to be very honest.
Corden: Getting advice is vital. We wouldn’t be in the relationship without it. It was so vital for us to be very honest and very open. We had people who were honest back to us. If you’re not going to be open in that way now, your marriage is going to suffer. If you let this go, especially with purity, it’s going to follow you into marriage.
Advice for singles: Corden: Try it out and see how it works. Instead of thinking, “Nothing will ever happen to me,” just give it a shot. And pray. When you join DTHS, are you praying? Are you praying to God that this person who you’re meeting is as close to the right one as can be?
Ellyn: Put yourself out there. Toss a coin in the well and see if you hear something. God knows who will be the right one for you, so why not try? Who knows? I wasn’t thinking about moving back to the US, and I definitely wasn’t think about moving to Oklahoma, but God knows what we need.
Sisters, I encourage you to be really patient and full of grace. Understand that there are more sisters than brothers. Understand that it can be overwhelming for them on the site, and do what you can to not put pressure. I sent messages to lots of brothers, with no pressure. Have grace with the brothers and respect them.
I’m grateful that would have a church that would do this. Sharing our story, and the thoughtfulness of the church to provide this, shines in a dark world.
